28 Comments
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Tere Cruz Tenorio's avatar

If I were a mermaid princess, my first order of business is to gather my fellow mermaid princesses sisters and meld our mermaid powers then make the oceans free from trash and microplastics again because they're a massive ewww.

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

banding with our kumareng mermaids is so important, especially if it's in the spirit of ocean cleanup! But if only there was a way to make humans pay for imposing this responsibility on the merworld. I think best to team up with guhleen in the comments here to wage war on human litterbugs!

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

Given the message of sisterhood and the obvious need for a supernatural/miraculous fix to our ocean problem...you deserve a FISHWIFE care package for being such a mer martyr! Pls send me your contact details via IG asap. Thank you and congratulations!

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Tere Cruz Tenorio's avatar

Yay! Thank you so much, Mer-falda! 🤍🤍🤍

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Tere Cruz Tenorio's avatar

Ugh yes. Teaming up with guhleen is even better now that the Fukushima water is being released in our beloved Pacific. OMG. Let's show these filthy humans how to take care of Mother Earth. Haha. If only. 🥺

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guhleen's avatar

I'd create an elite team of merpeople dedicated for underwater military warfare. It's time to serve and slay! (real) 🫡🧜🏽‍♀️🐚💦

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

RIGHT? i mean, triton can't do all the serving and protecting!

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Maxine Lim's avatar

I would run a fish school. Fish failing the curriculum? They'd be canned as the school's 'fresh graduates!' 🧜‍♀️🐟

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

you clever clam, you! love this, though it brings back ptsd from my days of being a "d" student LOL.

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Mella's avatar

I'd host a Drag Ball, Underwater Eleganza

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

serving fish all the way. Also, House of Ursula represent!!! LOL.

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Jao's avatar

First order of business would be to legalise mer-ijuana 👀

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

you know, 'cause the sea "weed' is always greener??? LOL i love this! Especially 'cause Ariel needs to chill out, leave the shitty human world alone, and enjoy the vibrance of "Under the Sea" stoned.

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JP Tecson's avatar

If I were a mermaid princess, mag monopoly ako ng fish canning from the criminal fishies on ocean death row. Lagyan ko pa ng basura nakinakalat ng madlang people sa kaharian ko then sell it to the alta market with mala-fishwife marketing so land dwellers get a taste of their own medicine *insert evil laugh here*

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

I love this "Eat the rich and irresponsible" approach. napaka-cunning and meta! Mananagot talaga lahat ng pasaway, isda or otherwise. For this, I am sending you a FISHWIFE showcase whose marketing you can study for your scheming! Please DM me your full name and contact details on IG asap. Thank you!

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JP Tecson's avatar

wow yay! done! :D

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Poch's avatar

I love this newsletter so much!!! thank you for exploring how great the native tomato is!!! My eyes are now open to its possibilities.

My first order of business as a mermaid princess would be to archive all shipwrecks and develop them into a series of sites that will showcase the various eras of human way of life. There'd be a chronological guidebook for diehard fans!

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

I love how Ariel by way of Ayala Museum this is! It takes into account our OG mermaid princess's hobby but enjoins community participation and an empathy toward the human race. You deserve a FISHWIFE showcase to snack on as you map out your mer museum empire. Please DM me your full name and contact details on IG asap. Thank you!

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Jeah's avatar

First order of business as a mermaid princess is to watch all of the Barbie Princess Movies and Princess Diaries 1 & 2.

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

The ultimate mer-movie marathon on Wetflix!

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Fran Ayala's avatar

I’d SHELL-ebrate with a massive, undersea ball in a sunken galleon with a guest performance by my favorite marine MCs – The Rapscallions.

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

Darlin' it's wilder, down where it's wetter, take ecstasy! LOLLLLL love it!

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Sabina Lopez's avatar

I’d pickup some seashells from the sea floor and make some shell bras to sell by the seashore.

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

This is so Boracay boss babe, I love it!

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Vee Manila's avatar

My 10 cents, our local tomatoes that I buy in SM Supermarket don't taste great. Just regular tomatoes. Really ordinary.

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Vee Manila's avatar

Reading you, ka a Ayan.

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Satori With Abbee's avatar

I’d be checking out first & foremost my razor clam & scallop ”colony” as a mermaid princess! 🧜🏻‍♀️

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Mafalda Makes's avatar

She ain't no merMAID, she's a certified SEA-E-O. Very Tessie SEA Coson. LOL.

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